Cows can be used to explain all kinds of ideas. Here is a guide I compiled from around the internet. Some of these are generalizations, but you will get the idea.
Here are the basics:
SOCIALISM- You have two cows. You give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM- You have two cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM- You have two cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM- You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM; You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
Here is how capitalism works in many countries:
AMERICAN CAPITALISM- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
FRENCH CAPITALISM- You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
GERMAN CAPITALISM- You have 2 cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
JAPANESE CAPITALISM- You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are 1/10 the size of an ordinary cow, and produce the milk of 20 cows. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called cowkimon and market them worldwide.
ITALIAN CAPITALISM- You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
SWISS CAPITALISM- You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
CHINESE CAPITALISM- You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
RUSSIAN CAPITALISM- You have 2 cows. You count them and learn that you have 5 cows. You count them again and learn that you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn that you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of Vodka. The Russian Mafia shows up and takes however many cows you have.
INDIAN CAPITALISM- You have two cows. You worship them.
BRITISH CAPITALISM- You have two cows. Both are mad.
IRAQI CAPITALISM- Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country. No one is able to find the cows because you sent to another country, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM- You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
NEW ZEALAND CAPITALISM- You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
GREEK CAPITALISM- You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks. You eat both of them. The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF. The IMF loans you two cows. You eat both of them. The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk. You are out getting a haircut.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
Here is a look at how cows can explain different political views:
CONSERVATISM – You have two cows. They pray in school every day.
LIBERALISM- You have two cows. You don’t worry that they sleep together.
PROTECTIONISM – You have two cows. You can’t buy a bull from another country.
H. ROSS PEROTISM – You have two cows. You aren’t allowed to sell the milk to Mexicans.
OBAMA CAREISM – You may or may not have cows. The Government want you to buy a cow from the, from the Government, even if you are happy with your cow or don’t want one. It is almost impossible to buy a cow from the Government and it costs more than a cow from many other places.
LIBERTARISM – You have two cows. You let them do what they want.
MIDDLE EAST CONFLICT (ARAB)- You have two cows. They claim goats have stolen their homeland, but the cows never lived there to begin with. Both are packed with explosives and willing to die for their cause.
MIDDLE EAST CONFLICT (ISRAELI)- You have two cows. Both are heavily armed, and prepared to inflict tremendous retaliatory strikes on any other cows that mess with their pasture.
WELFARE- You have two cows. The government takes one to give to someone else who won’t take care of it and doesn’t know how to milk it.
DEMOCRACY- You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay for the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
BUREAUCRACY- You have two cows. The government takes both, loses one while moving it to a farm far away from you and forgets to milk the other. This is all done to help you
A Sojourner's Progress 