A Visit

The other day, my mother in law came over to talk to me. Since announcing my deconversion in 2012, she has been one of only a few people in her church that will talk to me. Granted, I don’t see most of those people any more; but, the majority of the people I have seen usually only speak a word or two, then pretty much ignore me. This is in keeping with their belief that they should have nothing to do with someone who is anti-Christ, which I am since I deny Jesus and the story of his death, burial and resurrection.

So she, let’s call her Sue, had some things she wanted to say to me and one specific question to ask. Sue began by saying she and her husband felt slighted that I included them in the group email that announced my deconversion. They felt like I didn’t feel they were worthy of their own notice and that I didn’t respect them. I explained to Sue that hitting the send button was a pretty tough thing to do. By sending the letter out, I knew things were going to change in a big way. Therefore, I only wanted to send it once. What I didn’t say, since the conversation moved on, is that sending it out in groups of one or two wouldn’t have changed anything. They wouldn’t have been able to keep something like that to themselves. At the very least, they would have moped around with this heavy knowledge and everyone would have known something was wrong. In my opinion, sharing something like this is similar to removing a Band-Aid, do it as fast as possible.

Sue then talked to me about how I was using man’s logic to come to my new understanding, as opposed to using God’s wisdom to keep me in the faith. I told Sue that my questioning came about because church leaders couldn’t give me clear answers about some issues. Sue said that some of this issues that I outlined in my decnversion letter were things she had studied and realized were false. I told her that I had never been exposed to these things, so I had no way of knowing if they were false or not. I also told her that when I had learned about things, I was brushed off. I gave two specific examples and she was shocked at the responses I was given. Sue couldn’t believe that those responses were so shallow and she apologized for them. What I didn’t tell her is that her father, our pastor, was the one who brushed me off.

We then began to talk about faith and leaning to man’s wisdom. I brought up the subject of the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible. I told her that men used their wisdom and twisted scripture verses to come to their belief that the KJV was THE BIBLE for English speaking people. I told her how my last pastor spent a couple of months using a faulty and erroneous book, New Age Bible Versions, as the basis for his sermons. He just read passages of scripture, then read pages of the book, using these together to bolster his belief in the KJV. I asked her how this was not the wisdom of man. Sue just shook her head and said she had faith that God would preserve his word, faith that the KJV was the word of God. I asked her who had the real bible before that, since the KJV was a compilation of other Bible translations. I asked what Bible should people in Africa use. She had no good answers, except to repeat that God preserved his word. I finally quit that line of discussion since it wasn’t going anywhere.

After a few more minutes, Sue finally got to the real reason she had come to talk to me. She asked me point blank if I denied the Holy Spirit. This question is important, because it determines whether there is any hope for my salvation. According to Jesus, a man can deny God or Jesus and it can be forgiven, but denying the Holy Spirit is unforgivable. I said, “Why are you asking me that?”. Sue said she needed to know, so she would know if she should pray for me any more. She had told me at the beginning of our conversation that she prayed for me every day, and would continue to do so until I died, asked her not to, or blasphemed (denied) the Holy Spirit. I told her that, according to the book of Isaiah, there is one God, and besides him there is no other. Sue brought up the trinity doctrine. I stated again what Isaiah said, with no mention of any other parts of God being spoken of. Sue said, ok, she knew what she needed to know. For myself, I find no need to blaspheme something that isn’t real.

After that, our talk was over. She did hug me and said she loved me.

I know it was hard for her to talk to me and ask me that specific question. On the other hand, it gave me a chance to openly state my beliefs. This is the second time someone has talked to me about my beliefs and tried to persuade me I am wrong. What I have found is that they discount anything I say that they don’t like to hear, even if I can use one part of the Bible to prove another part wrong. For my part, I reject their Jesus claims and don’t subscribe to the authority of the Bible or faith. Basically, all we do is burn oxygen for a while. Finally, they get frustrated because they can’t convince me I am wrong. I am fine, though. I do get a bit passionate, because I want them to see what I see. In the end, no one has changed their minds and the Christian leaves more sorrowful than before.